I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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