I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
