So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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