His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
