Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
