so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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