You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize