I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't put those talents on a resume
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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