yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
