Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
