Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
