You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
