Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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