She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
