I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
