who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
