Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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