last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
