Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
