Your face is a jimmy john
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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