Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
