Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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