We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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