so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
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I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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