Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So squirting runs in the family.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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