Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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