I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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