I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
