I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
