I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
