So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
