I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
