god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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