I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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