i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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