508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
