Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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