We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
