What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize