he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize