I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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