I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
