Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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