i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
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Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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