forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
