I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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