After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
