Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
