Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
