sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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