fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
