5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
