New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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