You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
