Dual....:-)
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
