She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
