oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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