there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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