I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
