last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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