I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
dude. I can hear the air.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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